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    Dragonball Evolution Made Me Cry

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    Ell

    Posts : 37
    Join date : 2010-06-06

    Dragonball Evolution Made Me Cry

    Post  Ell on Sun Jul 18, 2010 6:44 am

    Yes, i just capitalized every word in my title.

    Down to the point, what the hell was that? What did i just watch?

    Lets start with the actors. First of all, goku is a white boy? This wouldnt bother me, but hes REALLY white. I mean, i like justin, hes a good actor. But he was NOT the person to play this role.

    Next we have bulma, a role that was butchered. She tried her very best to be a total badass. Guess she didnt get the memo: bulma doesnt kick ass. And her hair... come on. Its supposed to be blue. Seriously.

    Master roshi.... Fail.

    Yamcha.... oh my god fail. He was by far the worst role in the movie. Even worse then goku. I also like how the only one who was supposed to look white, turned out to be one of the only asian guys. I know im adding a huge emphasis on color, which i usually dont care about, but the difference was really jarring.

    Piccolo.... super fucking fail.

    Basically every character in this movie failed their role. Im not gonna go into details for all of them.
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    Now we have story... Was this really supposed to be dragonball? When did goku go to highschool? Why is gokus grandpa alive? Theres so many questions, id end up sitting here listing them which wouldnt help my nerd rage right now. Needless to say, the story was butchered. A bunch of rich fatcats who have never seen dragonball wrote a quick script to make money, and they failed.
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    Special affects... come on. The entire candle scene made me want to punch the shit out of my television. And when he used kamehameha in the end against piccolo, the one part i was praying would be cool, was pathetic. PATHETIC. why the fuck did he jump up towards piccolo? i seriously... sigh... nerd rage...
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    Finally, oozaku. Dear. fucking. god. How could they have ruined it more? They made him some alter ego to goku, which sort of makes sense if you look at it in a retarded kind of way. They practically gave oozaku his own personality. They completely misunderstood oozakus purpose, hes not a seperate being, hes just pissed off goku. And he wasnt fucking human size, he was huge.
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    If you didnt bother to read that, i dont blame you. I just needed to write it down. Vent, ya know. If you read all that, and went "well the movie doesnt really sound that bad!" just trust me on this. I was too lazy (and ANGRY) to write down all the horrible, horrible points of this "movie". Sometimes, a movie folowing an anime can be watched if you didnt watch the actual anime and still seem good. But not this one. If youve never seen an episode of dragonball, you will still think this movie is garbage. If you have, then this movie is blasphemous and... Sinister and.... repulsive. They didnt even fucking add krillin.

    I give the movie a 1/10. No joke, it was that fucking bad.
    Fun fact: The movies review page didnt have a single score over 3/10, and most of them were also 1/10. Several people whined they couldnt vote 0/10.
    Fun fact: Dragonball Evolution grossed roughly 8 million dollars in the USA. Sound like a lot? its not.


    Funny quotes i found on the internet (not gonna bother giving credit)
    Spoiler:


    -Not even the seven dragonballs could save this movie

    -This was the perfect movie for anyone who hates dragonball

    -Was this a student film?

    -Did i just watch my childhood get raped?

    -Id rather watch broke back mountain in a room full of gay guys

    -I almost vomited when I saw the preview for this movie. It's like taking a child, raping it and then throwing out of a moving car at 80 mph and leaving it for dead. (This one might have been a little overboard, but the movies that bad)

    -This movie makes speed racer look like a masterpiece

    -Cookie cutters are less predictable

    -Dragonball: De-evolution

    -If you like this movie you can suck my dragonballs

    -The Greatest Movie Ever Made...Oh, Wait, We're Talking About Dragonball:Evolution. Nevermind

    -Dragonball movie? Where? DB: Evolution? That was a dragonball movie?

    -There was nothing good about this movie. Nothing. Well, chichi was hot...

    -No merciful god could allow this...

    -Quite possibly the worst movie ever made. No, srsly.

    -Ka..Me...Ha...Me... SUPERMAN!!!

    -King kong meets power rangers in: Dawson creek the movie!

    -Abysmal.

    -Dragoncrap

    -Like Buying a Porche, Slashing the Tires, and plowing into a wall at a high rate of speed

    -Almost unwatchable, which makes it comically watchable

    -Dragonball Meets Micky Mouse Club

    -a new term has been invented; getting dragonballed

    -Amazing how Hollywood feels like the main characters have to be Caucasians for originally Asian content

    -I want a refund for my 85 minutes of torture

    -Stab. Out. My. Eyes.

    -I have begun a journey across the planet to find the seven dragon balls. My wish: burn every copy of dragon ball evolution ever created.

    -The kamehameha heals diseases? Does that mean my shotgun fixes pottery?

    -Did the director receive death threats? Hes about to.

    -Almost entertainingly stupid. Almost.

    -Is there such a thing as "movie rape"?

    -This movie would be the best april fools EVER. What? That thing, dragonball? APRIL FOOLS!

    -As someone who never watched dragonball and viewed it from a completely unbiased standpoint, it made me want to choke children

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    Ayano

    Posts : 132
    Join date : 2010-06-08
    Location : Norway, Bærums Værk

    Re: Dragonball Evolution Made Me Cry

    Post  Ayano on Sun Jul 18, 2010 3:04 pm

    Seen it, hated it. Didn't use internet for 3 day.

      Current date/time is Tue May 22, 2018 1:25 pm